This week, we did presentations on different letter of note letters. The letter I focused on was I Love My Wife. My Wife is Dead. This letter was written by Richard Feynman. His wife died of tuberculosis and over a year later, he wrote this letter saying that he loves her and can’t find anyone like her, “You, dead, are so much better than anyone else alive.” He had also written to her as “D’Arline,” as if he is saying darling and not dear Arline.
Even though he wrote this sweet letter, he actually wasn’t the best husband. He was always focused on his work and wound tend to neglect her and yell at her when she would disrupt his work or his bongo playing. He would tell her to stop complaining and crying. He eventually realized and apologized to her, but not long after, she had passed. After her death though, he went straight back to work without a tear or thought about it, “I wasn’t delighted , but I didn’t feel terribly upset.” He didn’t cry until right before this letter when passing a store that had dresses he thought she would like.
I found it interesting how he would write these sweet and encouraging letter, but then end up being such a terrible person. He had even written about how he had adapted the mindset of a pick-up artist by treating women as if they were useless. He even treated his second and third wife like this. His second wife had also accused him of abuse. How was he able to treat his wives with such disgrace but then write sweet caring letters to them? What would go through his mind in order to put his work over his wives? Especially his first wife, Arline, who was sick. I also find it funny how other men who had read Richards writings had also slightly adapted that mindset. They would look up to him without realizing it and they would treat and talk about women as if they are nothing.
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